I have been thinking a lot about the post last night. A few things of which I would like the reader to be aware. I will say some things that are “edgy” or meant to bring a reaction. These are things to keep the reader hooked and enticed. I wrote last night “I wonder if my parents knew that by putting us in this church, we were being handed over to and raised by criminals.” I got a reaction from this line. Which is kind of what I wanted. Maybe that is the evil part of me. When you get a reaction, you get attention, and also hopefully make the reader think. How many situations do we unknowingly put ourselves into without realizing at first that the situation is terrible? Of course my parents didn’t know!
If you are a parent or even someone who interacts with children at all, I would like you to think about something: are you encouraging or discouraging? For example, hand a child a hot dog. They say “it’s too hot!” You feel it, and it feels fine to you. You say “it’s not hot it’s fine” what did you do there? Unknowingly discounted the child’s feeling or opinion. Now let’s say the child gets a little older. Someone in a position of authority does something questionable to a child. Feeling that they don’t like it, they question themselves. Adults are always right. “The hot dog wasn’t hot” “that was love not molestation” “they only hit me because I deserve it”. You see where I’m going here?
The purpose of my writing, there are many purposes. 1) I would like my extended family to know what I went through.
2) Writing is helping me process. Now I have been going to counseling for a few years, I can honestly look back and reflect somewhat objectively on that part of my life.
3) The things I have gone through have helped to shape my identity. I am embracing it and would like to share with whomever will read.
4) I want to have a point of reference. In conversation, it may come up that I was raised in a cult. The conversation is never short after that. So many questions. I would like to be able to tell friends “Here is my blog, when you read this then it will explain a lot of things”
Thank you all for reading! I will post another story this evening.