I started to write a book about my life in 2012. The biggest motivator was my extended family. We were separated for around 17 years. My immediate family was in a religious cult. I thought that it would be easier to write about my experiences than having to retell stories to 30 people who wondered what happened to me while we were in the cult. It was very hard to relive over and over again the experiences and feelings. The more people I meet in “the world”, the more I realize that most of us have similar circumstances and experiences; all with different labels. So here we go, I will be recounting my years in the cult, as well as keeping up to date with current events. Present day (7/20/2015) I have three boys: Vincent (6), Troy River (2) and Miles (1). I am married to Ryan, we have three dogs and one cat. We live in Washington state, USA. I have been a pet groomer for 13 years, and have just started college.
I left the cult in 2007, and immediately jumped into achieving my goals. I started a business and got pregnant with my first son. I thought everything was great and the cult stuff was behind me. In the winter of 2010 I became pregnant with twins. We were over the moon excited. In January 2011, we lost the twins to a miscarriage. I was devastated. Also this year we lost our 17 year old dog and my grandpa died. I had what can only be described as a breakdown. I was scared and anxious all the time. I couldn’t work, and did not want to be alone. Ever. I felt like I was going to die at any minute. I was having flashbacks, panic attacks, and night terrors. I could not explain this to anyone. I decided to seek help. My cousin gave me the gift of meditation classes. I started seeing a counselor. Slowly, slowly, things started turning around. I still require the maintenance of counseling and meditation, and writing helps. Thank you for following my journey and reading my story.